Just a small town girl...

Once again I haven't done this in a while. I'm very sorry Feef but this one will no doubt be very long :-p

A few weekends ago we did the usual go out to the Belle the Friday night was good and like old times, this is due to the likes of James Elliott, Polly and Muzzi being out. It was a laugh reminising over what we used to do and where we all are now. Times certainly do change. The saturday I went to the pub with Dad too, i got quite intoxicated and we decided to run home, so yes you can imagine it, with a pizza in one hand 3/4 of a bottle of wine in the other running down whitegate drive with dad.

Now this weekend it was a matter of ensuring everything ran smoothly with the Poultry party, hens and cocks :-) I think Jen enjoyed it, I don't think our poor feet did though haha. As I told you earlier I put the pictures up on facebook for you and everyone else to see.

I'm sorry i ended up phoning last week in tears. I am truly not that upset by it, i just want to learn as best i can and move on. I am not willing to give up on a friendship that was going well up until then. I know what most you will say or have said especially those out last night, he's not worth it and you can do better. I appreciate everybody looking out for me, it's like they are all trying to protect me. I got told the same thing at work the other day, that I am a valued member of the team and that they are all very protective over me. Why is that? Do I give off the vibe that I need to be protected? I think that maybe with work it probably is more of I am the youngest on the team and therefore they may feel like they need to mother me? I'm unsure. I can see why my friends do it and sometimes you don't realise how much your friends do care until you hit a time like this.

Speaking of time like this how on earth do you accidentially start talking to someone again? I mean I know I did mine deliberately and that was because Martin got me seriously thinking. Freezing somebody out of my life for something they are just being honest for is a bit like being back at high school. At the end of the day if it is something you can work through and you feel that it can be overcome why give up on it? I'm not usually one for giving up on things, especially not easily, perhaps that is one of my flaws, that or I give too many chances and thats where I go wrong? I don't know, all I do know is I learned from my previous mistakes and I will learn from this, not that I'm classing it as a mistake.

It has however opened my eyes that bit more. Perhaps Elaine is right with the whole go out there and have some fun while you can. You have no ties, no mortgages or anything like that so why not get out there and do something a bit crazy. I am seriously thinking that maybe even 6 months away somewhere doing a job that is different and maybe not career focused could do me the world of good. It could open my eyes a bit more, my main worry wouldn't be meeting new people because actually I am quite good at that. IT'S the where to go afterwards and what happens then? Again that may not be a huge issue and it probably could be solved as and when it needed to be. I guess I am just a worrier. I worry over the most pointless things.

I ask the most random questions, like why are bingo wings called bingo wings? How much water does our tear ducts hold? Thats also a good thing be inquizative, it never hurts to ask a few questions. This blog isn't very cohesive but at least I am trying to explain a few things. It's probably not as fun filled as your blogs no doubt are becoming. 

That Was A Good Conversation!

Haha I do love this whole blogging thing, the most wonderous and random things spring to mind while just typing sometimes complete and utter rubbish, I know I have done that quite a lot...

Sitting here with things whirling through my mind,
Eyes prove reading over words,
Fingers gliding over the keyboard,
Wind whooshing past the window.

The elements are a key thing in everyday life. We battle with them daily. That this week for example it was supposed to be a heat wave, just what we have had so far is rain, rain and more rain. That's one of the elemets we battled today, especially while at work, the damn fire alarm went off again. Thankfully the rain wasn't as heavy. Snow was another element we had to battle at work, with it settling on the pavement, it mixed with the rain causing the ice where so many people slipped no matter how hard they tried not too.

Where that little piece of random rubbish came from I'm not quite sure but something must have been niggling away. Sorry. I've been thinking how some friendships change over the years. I have one i seriously miss and through no fault of my own they no longer speak to me. Haven't even told me as to why properly. While I have a new person who is slowly taking the place, where I can speak to them about anything or ask them anything, I don't want to lose that friendship I have spent years building.

Friendships are something people should treasure and not decide to throw away like it is some piece of rubbish. Rubbish is how life can be without the key friendships and relationships you need in your life.

Feef I miss you...

I don't believe it, i just spent the best part of ten minutes discussing things in my life just to lose it, I know how Feef must have felt when it was her assignment :(


I love how things change and what we do and don't dwell on. One of our great moto's used to be "whatever you do, DON'T sit down...!" How that still applies, not because we are too tired to go out and that we should have a night in but because we are so used to our nights in now. We have all gone full circle in our lifes where many things have changed with us all. We have adapted and grown where we have need too.


While Feef has been gone less than a week i miss her greatly. She made me an amazing present before she left, now I know it should have been the other way around but, trust me she is going to like the one she receives when she gets home better than the one she would have got leaving. She has been my rock especially recently always being there when I need her :-D If she gets the opportunity to carry on doing what she is doing and if she enjoys it I will be the first one there encouraging her.


People focus on the most important things in their lifes and right now mine is family. I have realised how much until recently. I want to be there for people rather than thinking i need to be. That is a vast difference. I'm glad I have started to change my priorities and what I see as important because they things i used to think were are far from it.


I think I have written enough for now... best go and see if there is a book I can purchase to read :p

Time To Starting Thinking...

Well Feef this is all your fault.....you have made me want to start doing this again. Thank you for being a fabulous friend and I am so happy for you getting to go and start a new adventure. Here's hoping we can keep in contact better this time :-)


I have finally started to see who my real friends are. Those who are there in the good times and the bad. Those who would come and visit if I moved and those who think about their actions and who randomly get in contact or text daft things. I am truely starting to appreciate you moreso than ever before.


I'm thinking that perhaps a new start is better than the no start thats happening here. Everything seems to be falling into place for a few people, whereas I still seem to be going round in the same circles and may be getting rid of a few people will do me some good.


I've been asked to be a godmother. Apparently that while they can not see me having kids they believe that I would be good with someone elses. Which to be fair I usually am. Apparently I seem happy in myself and the fact I am by myself. I can be happy with or without a man, thanks for that Shaun.


I think that would be enough reflecting right now... I'm sure I can add more at a later date :-)