Once again I haven't done this in a while. I'm very sorry Feef but this one will no doubt be very long :-p
A few weekends ago we did the usual go out to the Belle the Friday night was good and like old times, this is due to the likes of James Elliott, Polly and Muzzi being out. It was a laugh reminising over what we used to do and where we all are now. Times certainly do change. The saturday I went to the pub with Dad too, i got quite intoxicated and we decided to run home, so yes you can imagine it, with a pizza in one hand 3/4 of a bottle of wine in the other running down whitegate drive with dad.
Now this weekend it was a matter of ensuring everything ran smoothly with the Poultry party, hens and cocks :-) I think Jen enjoyed it, I don't think our poor feet did though haha. As I told you earlier I put the pictures up on facebook for you and everyone else to see.
I'm sorry i ended up phoning last week in tears. I am truly not that upset by it, i just want to learn as best i can and move on. I am not willing to give up on a friendship that was going well up until then. I know what most you will say or have said especially those out last night, he's not worth it and you can do better. I appreciate everybody looking out for me, it's like they are all trying to protect me. I got told the same thing at work the other day, that I am a valued member of the team and that they are all very protective over me. Why is that? Do I give off the vibe that I need to be protected? I think that maybe with work it probably is more of I am the youngest on the team and therefore they may feel like they need to mother me? I'm unsure. I can see why my friends do it and sometimes you don't realise how much your friends do care until you hit a time like this.
Speaking of time like this how on earth do you accidentially start talking to someone again? I mean I know I did mine deliberately and that was because Martin got me seriously thinking. Freezing somebody out of my life for something they are just being honest for is a bit like being back at high school. At the end of the day if it is something you can work through and you feel that it can be overcome why give up on it? I'm not usually one for giving up on things, especially not easily, perhaps that is one of my flaws, that or I give too many chances and thats where I go wrong? I don't know, all I do know is I learned from my previous mistakes and I will learn from this, not that I'm classing it as a mistake.
It has however opened my eyes that bit more. Perhaps Elaine is right with the whole go out there and have some fun while you can. You have no ties, no mortgages or anything like that so why not get out there and do something a bit crazy. I am seriously thinking that maybe even 6 months away somewhere doing a job that is different and maybe not career focused could do me the world of good. It could open my eyes a bit more, my main worry wouldn't be meeting new people because actually I am quite good at that. IT'S the where to go afterwards and what happens then? Again that may not be a huge issue and it probably could be solved as and when it needed to be. I guess I am just a worrier. I worry over the most pointless things.
I ask the most random questions, like why are bingo wings called bingo wings? How much water does our tear ducts hold? Thats also a good thing be inquizative, it never hurts to ask a few questions. This blog isn't very cohesive but at least I am trying to explain a few things. It's probably not as fun filled as your blogs no doubt are becoming.
No comments:
Post a Comment